The First Post (Or, Desperate for Internet Fame and Sex Tape Leak Currently Not an Option)

Greetings and salutations, dear readers.

Gerald (me) does indeed write things, as permanently noted in the blog title, and will be using this blog as a forum for airing such things in an attempt to win Internet Fame by proving my destiny as the greatest thing to ever happen to the writing world. Failing that, I’ll gain Internet Fame by leaking lewd cell-phone pictures of myself. It’s been working for this great nation’s leaders.

Rep. Anthony Weiner, NJ County Official Anthony Magazzu, and Rep. Chris Lee. Congressmen Gone Wild!

This first post will serve basically as an introduction to myself and my skewed and flawed point-of-view, from which my writings will come hurling at your ass like an orange flung from a jai alai scooper at 100 mph.

It'll hurt, but at least it's funny. Right?

So, about me: I’m Gerald, and at the decrepit and jaded age of 21 and a half, have found myself living in beautiful Santa Cruz, CA, 3/4 of the way through my undergraduate student career as a literature major at UC Santa Cruz, home of the Banana Slug, Hipsters, and cheap, highly accessible danky-dank.

4/20 at UCSC, colloquially known as "Better Christmas". Go Slugs!

Quickly approaching is application time for the Graduate Program at UCSC, which if all goes well, will lead to my preferred career as college professor. I have much fun telling other people funny shit and talking about comic books, and college professors do both of those and get weekends off. Also, at least at that soul-sucking job, I can take 300 students and a handful of TA’s down with me.

My great love is indeed comic books of any genre/format, although graphic violence, nudity, dystopian near-futures brought on by political corruption and decadence, and references to rock music are always preferred.

3 out of 4 ain't bad.

I also like to talk about philosophy, Punk, the imminent destruction of man and the modern world, gender issues, the Internet Fame phenomenon, TV and film, religion, drugs, and the generally inescapable futility of everything you, as an individual, does in life. Not that I want to plant any ideas in your head.

Satan will totes let you read my blog in Hell, so it's chill.

To sum it all up: I want to be loved god dammit, and with any luck you’ll love me after reading the hilarious shit I write. Forever and ever.

AND EVER.

Alright, enough picture jokes. Thanks for reading, there’s more to follow.

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